DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE. THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOU T
SAYING ANYTHING, HE
WROTE IN THE SAND ...
“TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.” THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH.
THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT HIS FRIEND SAVED HIM.
AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:
“TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.” THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'
TO WHICH THE FRIEND REPLIED: “WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.”
“BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT.”
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND
AND TO CARVE YOUR BLESSINGS IN STONE!
THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON... AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM... A DAYTO LOVE THEM... AND AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM! TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!
DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!
One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.
A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect.There was not a mark or a flaw in it.
Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen.
The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."
The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart
It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges.
In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.
The people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed.
"You must be joking," he said."Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."
"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you.
You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love. I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.
Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance.
Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting; the room in my heart reserved especially for them.
So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out.
He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.
It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.
The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.
They embraced and walked away side by side.
"Once we discover how to appreciate the timeless values in our daily experiences, we can enjoy the best things in life....."
~Author Unknown~
~Love is Only In the Eyes of Those Who Choose It~
~If you're looking for love, you will never find it.~
~Love finds us, unexpectedly and in the most unlikely places.~
~Only those who recognize it, and open themselves to it, ever find it.~
Global Warming is on a Rampage through the Belt Buckle of the Deep South. I has snow!!!! 4 inches and counting! *blank stare* and, according to Glenn Beck, apparently Al Gore is MIA....I'm truly not surprised! Perhaps he's holed up in that igloo Senator So-and-So built for him after the last Snowmeggedon!!! Snowman, anyone?
As a parent I watch my children grow and rejoice at the many milestones achieved in the pursuit of “growing up.” When my children were young I always felt like there were four major milestones they had to achieve and then it would be smooth sailing from then on: weaning from breastfeeding, potty training, learning to tie their shoes, and learning to ride a bicycle. For most of my parenting years I’ve stuck by that mantra and celebrated when I no longer needed breast pumps, diaper bags, velcro tab tennis shoes, and strollers to get from point A to point B.
Then the unthinkable happened! They became teenagers and the milestones changed dramatically! All at once I was entering into the Twilight Zone of Teenagers. When kids enter into the chrysalis of the teenage years, life becomes Aliens vs. Monsters. Children are like alien beings from another planet and I became a Monster with unreasonable demands on how they spend their time, who they spend that time with, how they spend their money, etc., etc., ad nauseam.
The metamorphosis from child into adult lasts for more years than that of toddler to teenager. I was told by a counselor for my children that a teenager’s brain doesn’t reach full maturity, with adult inductive and deductive reasoning ability (common sense in my humble opinion) until they reach the grand old age of 25. So the journey from teen to adult is a 12 year process, whereas the journey from child to teen is half that amount of time.
Believe me when I tell you that the milestones of parenting a teenager into adulthood far and away surpass any milestone from birth to teenager! The milestones during this time either become stepping stones or stumbling blocks with many being life-threatening. I’ll classify the milestones of parenting a teenager into the following: learning to drive a car, the art of dating, getting a job, and balancing a checkbook.
This period of time is the only time you actually risk life and limb teaching someone without an adult brain to drive a potentially lethal weapon. The process is terrifying! I do not recommend this to those weak of heart or without strength of mind and nerves of steel. It’s grueling!
The next parental milestone is that of the first girlfriend/boyfriend, wrapped and tied with the bow of subsequent teenage drama that ensues and rules life while hormones rage. As a parent I hop on this wild ride and battle this beast, reins firmly in hand, yelling “Whoa!” at the top of my lungs. Sometimes they actually listen.
When kids get their first job, watch out! They become empowered, or so they think. More importantly, so THEY think YOU should think! They are SOMEBODY then, with their own click of friends and inner circle and sanctum that, as a parent, I’m no longer part of. For the most part I just go with the flow until I see warning signs of danger on the horizon and realize that bad company, does indeed, corrupt good morals. You can pretty much write this in stone, as God did when he gave the tablets to Moses: it doesn’t matter how you raise your kids, when they turn 18 they are going to do what they choose to do. As a parent I hope and pray they live through the metamorphosis and emerge as productive adults on the other side. Aunt Janie always said that teenagers needed to be put on ice until they reach adulthood. I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. Furthermore, Aunt Janie’s dad, David Barrentine, an old Baptist preacher, once told me when I was expecting Jericho, that, “Children are born to break our hearts.” How prophetically true that turned out to be! Who’d a thunk it?
Balancing a checkbook and subsequently paying bills on time is the last milestone. I may revise this at a later date, but these are the four major parental milestones that I’ve had to deal with thus far. Balancing a checkbook goes hand-in-hand with the previous milestone of getting a job. Enter now the word RESPONSIBILITY into the vocabulary of a creature who has here-to-fore never been responsible for anything other than homework, brushing teeth twice a day, playing the next Xbox 360 game, and keeping up with their many social networks such as MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or viral video on YouTube.
Oh! The growing pains! Balancing a checkbook and being fiscally responsible is by far the worst of these parental milestones, and perhaps the most costly as a parent. To cultivate a good work ethic in ones progeny is the least worrisome. It is after they learn that they now have their OWN money that it becomes a full-fledged migraine! First, get a job. Second, get a car. To have a car you MUST pay for the insurance on said means of transportation. In order to pay your bills on time, you MUST have a checking account. Especially if your employer insists on direct depositing your paycheck. Sounds easy, right??? Wrong! Nothing could possibly be further from the truth!
Case in point: prospective adult, i.e. oldest egg hatched, works two jobs. Her only financial responsibilities are paying for her car insurance, her gas to and from work, and her own personal clothing, shoes, toiletries, etc. She gets overdrawn at her financial institution. She knows it; I know it. I tell her not to use her debit card until her next paycheck is deposited and we can check to make sure that it covers the overdraft. Fat chance of that happening! Oh, don’t get me wrong, her check was deposited into the account, but she hadn’t worked as many hours as the previous two weeks and even with her check, it still left her overdrawn $18.
So here I am, “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing,” to coin a Jack Johnson song, and I begin reading her tweets for the day: “Pride smashin on some burrito goodness and sweet tea @ Cuco’s, @ the mall shopping...nothing better than sweet hang time with matching Venia hoodies, Hot Topic has Charlie the Unicorn fragrance now, on my way to CEC event. This is gonna rule! That doughnut was amazing!”....etc. You get the picture?
The scoop: her check went into the bank and she goes on a shopping spree, eating out, and hanging with friends at a concert that night. Account still overdrawn, and she accumulates another $91 in expenditures that will further overdraw the account.
The result: I go ballistic! Tell her to STOP IMMEDIATELY!!! It’s costing more money for her to work than if she were just a mooch staying at home! After the debit card transactions post to her account, along with the subsequent overdraft fees, she’ll be overdrawn $400 before her next paycheck in two weeks! As a parent, I hate this for her. Truly, it’s depressing when you think about it. Sure, I could front her $100 to cover her purchases, but is that teaching her to be fiscally responsible in her own right? I offered to do it on the stipulation that she repay me when she gets paid from job #2 and also on the condition that she restrain her activities and spending for the next two weeks: that she would not GO ANYWHERE other than to work and back. Ergo, no movies, concerts, dining out, or hang time with friends at Starbucks, and absolutely anything NOT related to a church locally: no Bible studies, Korean church, or anything else she drives 45 minutes one way to get to.
Her reply: “Don’t like. Don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
So what is a parent to do? I gave her a time frame in which she could accept my proposal and agree to the conditions, and she has ignored it completely. Do I just assume that “no answer is your answer” and let her deal with the consequences, or do I bail her out this one time only?
The agonizing conundrum of parenthood: do I allow her to face the consequences of her actions knowing how this is going to hurt her banking and credit report, or do I step in and help her even when she has blatantly refused to agree to curtail her activities for the next two weeks? It is enough to make me want to pull my hair out by the roots! Sometimes the school of hard knocks is what it takes to knock sense into the senselessness of irresponsibility. I’ve always been an advocate of “suffering the consequences” and the principle of “reaping and sowing” and allowing life to teach you that life’s not fair; it’s hard, and you have to be as hard as nails to live through it. I agree with John Wayne, who said, “Life’s tough; but it’s even tougher when you’re stupid.”
I'm basically a nerd. My license plate says so. I live by the oxymoron, "Make Haste Slowly," and have a firm belief in "What you don't know will hurt you...but not until you know what it is." Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is ignorance, often painful and sometimes lethal in large doses.
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