Journey

 

Mom: First Day of Chemotherapy & Radiation

As many of you know, it's been awhile since I've posted on this blog page. The neglect has been, in part, due to the fact that I have been on a Journey with my Mom. A Journey Through Cancer. Cancer is such a debilitating and immoral disease. I say that because it's almost like a person (in this case, my Mom) loses her humanity and becomes a lab rat. Seriously. If there's anything I hate about what my Mom is enduring, it's the fact that she has become just another statistic in the health care system and is someone to be "experimented" on. I suppose that's why they call it "practicing" medicine?

Our journey began in October 2009 when a spot was found on Mom's right lung. On March 24, 2010 Mom saw the oncologist again, and on April 7th she had another PET scan. On April 21, 2010 Mom went for the follow-up visit and was told that she was not a candidate for chemo & radiation, and after being made to walk down a flight of stairs and up again (which she could not do since she also has COPD, is on oxygen, and also has a defib) she was told she was not a candidate for surgery to remove the STAGE 1 tumor on her lung. We (my brother, sister, and I) were all heartbroken at the news, as you can imagine.

You see, Mom has not smoked in 19 years. She was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma in 1992. My dad passed away in 1998, also a victim of lung cancer. However, dad smoked right up until the time of his death, never had COPD, and truly was the picture of health until the diagnosis, after which his health deteriorated rapidly and within just a few months, he died. This was not a journey I expected to travel with my Mom...considering that she has not smoked in 19 years. Life can become brutal within a matter of minutes, and your whole world can be knocked off of it's axis in mere seconds....the time it takes to draw a breath or blink an eye.

Now back to my Mom.....

In June 2010 the oncologist (Dr. Derek Holland, Memorial Hospital, Chattanooga, TN) suggested a procedure called RFA, which stands for Radio-Frequency Ablation, as the only viable option for treating Mom's cancer. It is a process where they use a needle to target the tumor with radiation....kind of like microwaving the cancer if you will. Mom complied and had the procedure done in July 2010. By the initial reports, we were told that the procedure was effective. I was with Mom when her doctor told her that it was successful. Less than two weeks later, on August 10th, Mom was admitted into the hospital where she stayed for 20 days and then another week at Siskin Rehab. Apparently the procedure was "overly" effective, as it had been so strong it had damaged some of the good lung tissue. The phrase used when we were told was that it had "burned a hole" in Mama's lung.

Fast forward to October 27, 2010: Mama got good news on her lung and thyroid. The tumor seemed to be smaller/better, and the thyroid was a non-issue...nothing wrong with Mom's thyroid. However, from the latest PET scan, it seems there is a lymph node in Mama's chest that may be affected and she would have to have another biopsy. The biopsy was scheduled for November, 22, 2010. Mama canceled the biopsy because that was the Monday before Thanksgiving and she wanted to "have Thanksgiving" with her family. The biopsy was rescheduled for December. It too was canceled due to inclement weather....snow, and travel down the mountain was impossible. The biopsy was rescheduled and canceled again, due to another winter storm, on January 10, 2011. Mom finally had the biopsy January 24th. After seeing the oncologist on February 24th, Mom got the results from the biopsy and the news was not good. The lung tumor was now a STAGE 3 and one lymph node (cluster) in her chest also had cancer cells. I was devastated. I was now faced with something that will forever change the world as I know it....a world without my Mother in it.

A Consuming Fire....

Those are the only words I can think of to describe the medical merry-go-round of chemotherapy and radiation that my Mom has been on since March. After being told that she was not a candidate for chemo & radiation, that is exactly the treatment that Mom has been subjected to for the past seven weeks.

Week 1: Mom had her first round of chemotherapy and radiation on March 7, 2011. Prior to administering the chemo, they gave her Benadryl. From what we were told, it's to preempt any allergic reactions that she may have to the chemotherapy. The Benadryl made Mom hyperactive....she couldn't sit still, rocked back and forth, scratched her legs and arms, and talked non-stop for the entire 3 hour process.

Mom: Cheetos & Sandwich for Lunch

Week 2:  Coincided with Spring Break, so Jacob, Jed, and Jaala Rose were with me when it came time for me to take Mom for chemo/radiation. Sophie, my Balinese cat, made the trip with us.  Mom had lost 2 pounds since last week.  On Moncay, March 14, 2011, at Mom's appointment with Dr. Holland, her oncologist, I mentioned to him that Mom had an adverse reaction to the Benadryl.  Dr. Holland then cut the Benadryl dose to half of what it had been the week before and prescribed Ataivan to relax her.  I didn't know it at the time, but My Mom + Ativan = Chaos!!! I am not entirely sure what happened exactly. I don't know if the dosage was too high or if my Mom is just super-sensitive to that type of drug, but the resultant behavior was scary to behold.  Mom was acting like she was sloshed. She couldn't walk. She would just stagger to the bathroom. She could not talk: her words were slurred and incomprehensible. She kept wanting to get up from the chemo chair to go get in her bed. There was no bed and we were not at home.  She didn't remember me from one minute to the next. She had no recollection of Jacob, Jed, or Jaala Rose sitting with her 30 minutes at a time. She didn't remember eating her food AND my food. Later, when I teased her about eating my St. Paddy's Day cookie, she accused me of lying about it, even though Jaala witnessed the even. A nurse even came by and scolded Mom to stop eating and to go to sleep. It was a scary day! I've never seen my Mom in such a way. I called the doctor and talked to his nurse. I was then told that Mom had been given  "DOUBLE DOSE" of Ativan. The only conclusion I can come to about this is that two separate nurses had put the Ativan into her IV. This has to be, to date, one of the MOST stressful days of my entire life!!! Not to say it didn't have it's own peculiar blessings, because it did. The Westside Baptist Church in Chattanooga provided sandwiches, chips/cheetos, cookies, and bottled water for all of the cancer patients and their families.  It was such a relief to know that I didn't have to leave my Mom to go and get food for her, the kids, or myself.  I was profoundly thankful to that body of believers who put "unto the least of these" into practice.  On Thursday, Dr. Rice, the radiologist, prescribed a Zpak for Mom. She had a low-grade fever and was coughing up a lot of phlegm. On Friday, Mom and I took the kids to eat at Bea's Restaurant. They were at first amazed at the huge lazy Susan and the huge array of food, but then they loved it.  Mom wasn't feeling well, but she was a trooper!

 

Mom at Bea's Restaurant  

 

 

 

 

 

Week 3: My brother, Kevin, took Mom for chemo & radiation. After talking to the doctor, it was decided to just give Mom the half dose of Benadryl. No Ativan. Since then, she has been almost normal during chemo & radiation. She still has moments where she seems to be forgetful, but for the most part, she seems to be sound of mind. Dr. Holland put Mom on a stronger antibiotic, Levaquin, for 5 days. Her co-pay was $60 for this medication. Unreal!Week 4: Mom began losing her hair, though it is minimal at this point. She had gained back her 2 pounds. I think it's all of the Waffle House and Huddle House food she and Kevin eat when he takes her to the doctor.

Mom: Losing her hair & Ringing The Bell

Week 5: Kevin took Mom this week, April 4 - 9, without any complications. Mom seems to be feeling better. Or she's just faking it. I don't know. Kevin took Mom to the Mary Ellen Locher Breast Cancer and she picked out a wig. He said she wanted one that was multi-colored brown with red in it, but he had her pick out one that looked the most like her own hair. I laughed, but I told him he should have let Mom get the one she wanted....that she'd probably been a wanna-be-red-head her whole life and what better time to wear a red wig and get away with it! :) It's not about him; it's about Mama! He told me he should have let me take her, and I agree....he should have!  

Week 6: My turn again; this time without the kids. They are back in school and I couldn't, in good conscience, take them out for a whole week. Sophie, once again, made the trip with me. On Monday when Mom had the lab work done, her blood count was low and she had lost 2 pounds again. She weighed 148.4. We had to wait an hour before they started the chemo. This was the absolute longest day ever! We were both exhausted by the time we got home. There were just a few instances where Mom didn't know me or didn't recognize me until she was right up on me. She didn't recognize me when she came out of the bathroom, even though I was sitting right by her chemo chair....right where I'd been when she got up to go potty. She also seems disoriented when we go into the hospital; she doesn't seem to know where she is supposed to go.

 

Mom with Me at Roy's Grill, Rossville, Blvd, Chattanooga, TN

On Tuesday, after Mom had radiation, we had a couple of hours to burn until her appointment with Dr. Sowell, her primary care physician. Mom wanted to eat lunch at Bea's Restaurant, so I drove down Dodd's Avenue only to discover that Bea's is not open on Monday & Tuesday! I drove to Rossville Boulevard and Mom pointed out a retro-50's diner called Roy's Grill. She told me that when she was a young woman living in Chattanooga back in the 50's that she caught the bus at the corner and that she had eaten supper at Roy's Grill every evening. So, we decided to eat there.  It was like walking back in time to the 50's. Everything was still in that 50's decor! I loved it! Both of us ordered a BLT with homemade potato chips. We shared a slice of chocolate pie, and it was not as good as the ones my Mama made, primarily because they served it with cool whip instead of meringue! While we were eating, a random guy came in, sidled up to the bar, and sat on the stool next to Mama....and the next thing I know, he's eating her potato chips and sharing his onion rings with her.  I lie not. Now I know who it is I get the "food-sharing" from. His name was Bill. My Mom never meets a stranger. 

Mom and her cat Lucy, aka Lucyfurr

Wednesday, after radiation, we drove home because the nurse was coming and Lucy (Mom's Siamese cat from hell) had an appointment at the vet. Mom went with me to take Lucy & Sophie. Lucy had to get her rabies shot and her "devil claws" trimmed. Sophie just had a nail trim. Lucy hates Sophie with a feline passion. I'm sure it's because she's used to being an only cat. Sophie is the best kitty ever. She just stays in the bedroom with me and ignores Lucy the best she can. Of course, I suppose it helps that she's mostly blind, but she never sees Lucy coming, which, in my opinion is a bad thing.

Thursday, Mom and I finally made it to Bea's. Mom ate like a little piggy! She had 4 ribs, a piece of chicken, new potatoes, cole slaw, potato salad, and two helpings of turnip greens....and two helpings of peach cobbler. The only thing Mama didn't eat was the bbq! Needless to say, we both went into a food coma when we got home!

Mama's Triple Scoop Lemon Custard Ice Cream at Mr. T's, Tiftonia, GA

Friday, Mom decided she wanted ice cream. After radiation I drove to St. Elmo's to Mr. T's....a little pizza and ice cream parlor at the foot of Lookout Mountain. It's the ONLY place to find Mom's favorite flavor of ice cream - Lemon Custard! I helped Mom to a table inside and then got in line to order our ice cream. As usual while standing in line, I begin a conversation with the lady in front of me. Turned out that she was there with a group from a Christian school in Chickamauga. After hearing that Mom had just come from treatment, she and the other moms there, allowed me to move ahead in line. She told me that they had "one" there that each of them had carried to treatment. She was speaking of one of the moms present, who was wearing a pink ball cap, and whose hair was just the lightest of fuzz on her head. I thanked them all and told them what a blessing it was to just randomly meet people who went out of their way to be kind. I ordered Mom's double dip Lemon Custard ice cream in a regular cone; I got the same thing in a waffle cone...but Mom's cone was twice the size of mine! She ate the whole thing! And then wanted pizza! So I had to order us a small pizza AFTER eating the ice cream! :) We left Mr' T's just as it began raining and drove through the historical scenic district of St. Elmo. Mom told me that she had lived there "back in the day" on Tennessee Avenue. She didn't remember the exact house; only that it was "on the right," and I didn't drive down the entire length of the street. Mom was ready to go home. We drove over the foot of Lookout Mountain and caught I-24 at Tiftonia....by then it was pouring rain! The terrible storms were coming in with a vengeance! When it was all said and done there were about 242 tornadoes (35 in Alabama and 62 in North Carolina alone!) ranging from Oklahoma, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, and North Carolina, killing over two dozen people. So sad!

Mama ate the ENTIRE Ice Cream Cone!

Saturday: I had to get back home in time to take Jed to his ball game. I am always sad when I leave my Mom; I always wonder if it will be the last time I see her, and I always pray that it isn't. She told me that she would miss me; I told her that my brother and sister would be there tomorrow....and she told me it wasn't the same....then she paused and said, "You'll be here with me next week." I looked at her quizzically....and reminded Mom that my brother and sister would be here. She said, "Yes, but I'll call her Starla the whole time she's here." Now what do you do with that? I just laughed!

Week 7: April 18-22. Mom finishes up her chemotherapy and radiation this week. Mom got her "crown" with pink sequins on Monday, and will ring the bell on Thursday after her final radiation treatment. In 6 weeks she will have another PET scan that will, hopefully, tell us that the treatment has been successful.

Mom in her Pink Crown!

Please remember my Mom in prayer; her name is Dora.

~Starla

***UPDATE: Mom's treatment was effective. She is now in remission and "cancer free." Her hair is beginning to come back and it's the strangest thing. Mom's hair (see first picture) was a black and straight as could be prior to the chemo/radiation. Afterwards it turned as gray as could be. All of the black hair fell out, leaving little wisps of gray on her scalp. You can see the color difference in the picture where she is ringing the bell. Now that her hair is coming back, it is still black, but it is curly!!! It looks like she's gotten a perm!!! When I find the picture of her pulling at her curls, I'll upload it after this so you can see the difference. It is so pretty! Mom still does not have a lot of gray hair. I hope that is one trait I share with my Mom too.